


Holding you, until the end

by JanaA



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Jamie and Dani last time, Smut, so sad so sexy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:35:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28257777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JanaA/pseuds/JanaA
Summary: Dani's first signs that she was drifting away, Jamie needing a friend and their last night in each other's arms.
Relationships: Dani Clayton & Jamie, Dani Clayton/Jamie, Jamie & Owen Sharma
Comments: 8
Kudos: 48





	Holding you, until the end

**Author's Note:**

> Hi. First of all, @Mike Flanagan, dude, where's that cut scene?! 
> 
> Like many of you, I can't stop thinking about them, and I wanted to write something fluffy but my mind understood sadder, so I categorize this fic as "so sad, so sexy", as Lykke Li would say.  
> This was supposed to be just Damie, but I love Jamie and Owen's relationship (actually the whole Jamie-Owen-Hannah), and always thought he would be there for her when Dani started to lose it. As a friend guys, haha, oh my god.
> 
> If you're here for the smut is almost in the middle of it, keep going. If you're into signs, i just went ahead and assumed that Dani would be a taurus, was it too much? Let me know. 
> 
> Let's get to it.

It was a mid-May afternoon, and the weak rays of the sun illuminated the flower shop. Behind the balcony, Jamie flipped through a small alphabetically arranged notebook. M, N and… O. She picked up the phone hook, her quick fingers following the number sequence on the paper.

\- Bonjour, voici Camille de Batter Place, comment puis-je vous aidez?

\- Unh, bonjour… - her words shuffled for a second - Can I speak with Owen, please? It's Jamie.

\- Oh, bien sûr, Jamie.

She heard a crowd of murmurs in french. The restaurant was full, good for him.

\- Hello, ma'am, our special today for British people who live now in the USA it's called "pasta la vista" with a bit of "john lemon."

\- Blimey, that's one of your worst by far…

They laugh together. It has been almost three years since Jamie and Dani went on visiting Owen, and, with life getting in the way, they didn't call each other as much as they wanted. Only on holidays. Or on occasions where Jamie needed to reach out for someone else, which, well, never happened.

\- Are you busy? I can call you later.

\- No, not at all. I have a lot of french hands. How are you, and to what do I owe the pleasure?

She sighed heavily.

\- I'm good. Listen uhn, I know this will sound a bit out of the blue, but Dani's birthday is by the end of the month, and she's… - Jamie swallowed - well I, "i" was thinking about gathering some people. 

\- Mmm - Owen said, following.

\- We've always talked about you coming in to stay for a few days, yeah? I know it's kind of a long trip, but shite, if we don't do it now, then when, ya know?

She chuckled to appear lighter than she felt. Why even bother, though; Owen knew her. If Jamie could see him, he would probably be giving her a worried look. 

\- You don't have to sell it so hard! I would love it too; I was really wondering what to do with my accumulated vacations. Tell Dani she'll have the best birthday cake this year.

\- Brilliant - she genuinely said, sighing relieved - I know it's an out of the blue thing; I just thought about it this week, actually. Dani's been… well, I think she could use some friends.

\- How is she? - he asked.

The question she was trying to avoid. Talking about Dani with someone else would be acknowledging that she changed. But, she needed to share and needed a second point of view, from someone who knew them. That knew the whole history.

\- She's fine, I mean... - her voice went a bit low - it's not like she's physically ill, it's just… she's been drifting away; I found myself calling for her all day, ya know. 

\- Hmm - Owen said - does she talk to you about it?

\- Not much, but… - Jamie bit her lips - I know she sees her… the lady in the lake. She just doesn't want to talk. I'm kind of worried.

Owen sighed on the other side. She waited, a bit tense.

\- I see… Are you taking care of yourself?

She snorted, definitely didn't expect that question.

\- Yeah, no, i'm fine. It's not about me.

\- We both know that a gardener needs to be well fed to take care of the garden.

\- Haha, I'm still shite at cooking, but I manage ...

The bell on the door rang as a client entered the shop, greeting Jamie. She was there to pick up a flower arrangement.

\- I've gotta go, is it right if we talk later?

\- Sure, don't mind the timezone. Call me anytime.

\- Thanks, mate, will do.

The client went away a few minutes later, with a big smile. Once alone again, Jamie wondered if she had done the right thing by sharing Dani's visions with Owen. Would it be better to just keep everything inside and manage it herself? That never led her anywhere, though. She needed someone that she could trust, and she knew, regrettably, that Owen may have walked the same path that she was now.

———

She thought a lot about how they got there. A diagnosis, as she did with her plants; fingers buried deep in the earth feeling the roots. What was missing? Water, sunshine? Unfortunately, some were too hurt to heal, and Jamie knew how to let go of them.

"Knew," in fact, in the past. Giving up was no longer part of her philosophy; instead, she doubled her persistence. Some things could not be cured, but others just needed more time.

With that in mind, she had been watching Dani for the past few weeks. Her movements a few thousandths slower, her eyes a few moments heavier. The sun that illuminated her was closer to a setting, its rays slowly fading away from her face, leaving her a little colder.

\- Dani? - she came closer, calling for the fourth time - Dani, babe?

\- Yeah?

\- Do you want some tea?

\- Oh, yeah, sorry ...

Jamie went back to the kitchen counter.

\- What's on your mind?

\- Nothing… just, thinking - she smiled in disguise.

Jamie sat next to her, handing a cup of tea while looking at her suspiciously. Dani frowned after taking a sip.

\- What tea is that?

\- Chamomile ... what's wrong?

\- The taste ... is different.

\- Do you want another one?

\- No, it's ok.

She smiled, but Jamie knew her smile; it wasn't quite like that. It hurt to see her like this, a shade less than she was before. What remedy would Jamie have against a symptom so subtle? Her hands, voice, and gaze didn't seem to have the same effect on Dani anymore. But she tried, even though Dani wasn't so much interested in her efforts.

\- Sorry, Jamie ... I'm tired.

She whispered, at the curve of her neck. Jamie tensed her body, pulling back her hand that slipped between Dani's legs.

\- All right, babe, no need for apologies - she searched her eyes - Are you sure you just tired, or is it something to do with her? We can talk about anything ...

\- I'm fine, really - Dani smiled weakly, lowering her eyes - I think I just need to sleep.

\- Yeah, let's do that.

Jamie hugged her, showering her forehead with kisses. Dani fell asleep fast and deeply now, plunging into dreams that left her a bit bewildered the next morning.

But Jamie stayed, watching her, into the night. Thinking about roots, pests, and how they are almost impossible to remove if you don't act fast.

———

A light steam and tomato scent filled the kitchen. Under the low sound of the radio, chit-chat, and wine, Jamie and Owen were cooking a lasagna, Dani's favorite dish. The guests, a gay couple that they met at the shop and their flower supplier, would be arriving at 7. She only invited people that Dani felt comfortable with and always cheered her up with their stories.

\- Ok, just keep the spoon moving like this. It will be fine.

Jamie rolled her eyes at Owen.

\- It may be fine - he said again.

She snorted at him. She was so glad that he was there; it reminded her of a simple time when she was less tense. But, as much as Owen's warm company was enough, she also needed his experienced eyes to see if her suspicions about Dani were right.

\- So, did Dani showed you the little garden she managed to grow? - she said, taking a sip of her wine.

\- Yes, you're a good teacher, you know. Hash methods, but good results, she said.

\- Yeah, but only because she can't be very stubborn - she looked at him - And how did you find my student? 

Owen slowly cut an onion in silence. Jamie knew he was weighing his words, never a good sign.

\- She's different from the last time I saw her. Her eyes... seemed like - he cleared his throat - she looks a bit away like you said.

Jamie moved the spoon slower than he had instructed.

\- Like, like your mother's eyes? 

He looked up at Jamie, holding her gaze. The silence answered the question. Jamie looked away, clutching the spoon more strong than necessary. 

\- She's still her. She's here.

Jamie stared at the sauce, moving the spoon ever more slowly. He waited, without a movement.

\- We tried psychologists, you know ... and stuff - she sighed, her voice almost breaking - thought maybe it could help. She wanted to stop. Said we were pushing, we were trying too hard.

Owen watched in silence.

\- How can I not try too hard for her, Owen? - she looked at him - I mean, it's like she doesn't understand ...

Owen left the knife and went to her calmly, resting an arm on the counter.

\- You are doing everything you can, fighting with something that you don't know. And it's enough for your efforts.

Jamie shook her head, looking away as Owen tried to catch her eyes.

\- I know it is difficult to see the limit when we love too much, believe me... But, sometimes, there's nothing to be fixed. Trying to project the past on the present just makes it all feel harder - he squeezed her shoulder - Be here now with her. That's all that people really need. For us to be present.

Jamie couldn't help a few tears by wiping them away as soon as they left. She felt back in time, in a role that was his. A role that, when he no longer had to play, she was happy for him.

\- Fuck, sorry,… - she sniffed.

He pulled her into a hug.

\- It's ok - he couldn't help but shake her slightly - Dani is still her, I felt it too. She still walks like she's about to jump at someone and still can't make one good hot beverage, apparently.

Jamie laughed lightly; he tightened his grip slightly.

\- Be with her... she loves you very much, you know.

Through the rest of the night, Jamie studied Dani's expressions. She seemed fine, chuckling at the histories the group was sharing. The night's higher point was watching her open the presents; she looked so pleased with Jamie's gift, golden rings with small inlaid flowers, absolutely loved them. Which made Jamie imagine if she would have the same reaction with the other present she bought to give to her in private.

The other present also had a flower pattern, but Jamie thought it would be better seen once involved round Dani's breast. It was lingerie.

She couldn't help it. Walking down the street days before her birthday, she stopped, totally absorbed by the image of her wife, wearing the two pieces of purple lace displayed at the shop window. She would be able to see all her creme skin through the fabric, and if she pressed her fingers on it, Dani would feel it, as if she was wearing nothing.

She couldn't help to buy it, but she also couldn't help hiding it very well. At that moment of their lives, the lingerie gave her the same feeling when she saw a flower arrangement with anthuriums and roses; it didn't feel right. But maybe Dani would like it, who knows? Owen was right; she was too much up in her head and not entirely with Dani.

———

The five days Owen was there passed quickly. Dani was tired most of the days to go out with them, so Jamie and he spent a lot of time together. Their talks helped her a lot to process what may be happening. On his departure day, he left them a fancy dinner ready before going to the airport. 

\- Just a small thank you gift for having me. It's your own private birthday dinner. Before eating, I would put some candles, some wine… sort of a "candlewine" dinner.

They rolled their eyes. At the airport gate, he hugged Dani, whispered some words Jamie couldn't hear and kissed her on the forehead. He then turned to her, with warmth in his eyes.

\- Thanks for inviting me - he lowered his voice - I'll always be here for you.

With Dani by her side as he left, she smiled with the excellent feeling spreading through her chest. When they arrived at the airport, she decided to put up that right attitude to work. She had to make Dani talk somehow.

\- I'm going to heat up dinner - Jamie said.

They took off their coat at the doorstep. She studied a bit of Dani's expression. Maybe this could be an opportunity, she could give her the other present, the lingerie, make her talk about how she felt about it. How she was feeling lately. 

\- Hey, let's make, like Owen said, a second birthday dinner. I also have a second present for you - she smiled.

\- Oh, yeah? Ok - Dani also smiled - I can wear my new earrings too.

Jamie naturally gravitated at her, wrapping her arms around her waist.

\- Hmm, I would like to see you using it. I'm gonna put on that dress you like, and then we'll both be pretty for each other, and theen… - Dani giggled - you know what happens when we get pretty for each other...

Jamie kissed her under the smiles, trying something more profound. Dani gave in.

Their tongues intertwined deeply at a killing slow pace. It was enough for Jamie.

\- Mmm - she moaned low, unintentionally.

God, how she missed her. Her hands began to move around Dani's belly, and then… 

She moved away, gently, leaving Jamie gasping. She looked disconcerted, staring at her mouth. When their eyes met, Jamie saw a blend of sadness and shame.

\- Dani ...

\- I'm fine, i'm… - she sighed deeply, breaking her embrace - i'm gonna take a shower, ok.

She took a few steps towards the room but then turned.

\- Can we not do the fancy thing, though? I'm getting tired ...

\- Yeah… - Jamie said, still confused - yeah, let's just eat.

At the dinner table, she wondered how it all became tense so fast. Dani didn't look at her for more than a second, her eyes glued at the plate, barely touching the food. Jamie was waiting for the right moment if there was such a thing; she just didn't want to receive another "i'm fine, just tired." It had to be another approach, one that didn't make Dani walk away. She swallowed.

\- This is really delicious… - she said, trying to sound casual - I don't know how he does it every time… Jesus!

Dani had dropped her fork on the plate, making Jamie jump scared. She now clenched her fists, her whole body trembling in tension. 

\- Dani - Jamie reached for her hand on the table - Babe, what's wrong? Are you seeing her?

Big tears streamed down her face as she tried to control her voice.

\- I can't… I can't taste it…

\- What?

\- I can't taste the food like I used to, I can't…

She was breathing irregularly. Jamie rounded the table and crouched beside her.

\- It's ok, it's ok, you don't have to eat it. We can do something else.

\- No, Jamie - she said, her voice clear despite her look - I can't feel things the way I did before…

Jamie frowned, looking into her eyes.

\- I can't feel your kiss ... the way I did before.

She whispered as if it were a sin. Jamie held her breath as if for the first time seeing the eyes in the darkness watching Dani. Watching them both. They were horrifying.

Dani finally crumbled into crying with big sobs, like a catharsis. How long did she keep it all to her? Jamie pulled her to the floor and hugged her as tightly as she could.

\- It's like, I used to feel it everywhere, but now… - she continued - It's less than before, and I just can't get my head around it. I know you are trying… 

\- It's ok, my love, it's ok.

\- But I'm afraid of… - she buried her face in Jamie's shoulder - I don't know what I would do if I touched you and felt nothing.

Jamie was shattered, like a window that let in all the cold wind and torrential rain. What Owen had confirmed was true; Dani in her arms, getting lost, day by day, was her new reality. It was so hard to swallow, even if she was supposed to be prepared for it. "It's ok, it's ok," she repeated as if it were a prayer for her and Dani. 

\- Hey, i'm here... - she pulled away enough to look at her - I love you.

Dani looked down, sorrowful. Jamie could see that more than sad, she was deeply disappointed in herself.

\- Sorry… - she murmured.

\- Hey, I'm not here just for your pretty face.

Dani snorted, frowning, as she did for all of Jamie's jokes at the wrong time. At least she was still feeling her words, Jamie noticed.

\- You're right, I was really trying to get me some sugar - Jamie lowered her head, trying to catch her eyes - But that's not all I want, Dani.

They looked at each other.

\- When I say that I love you… It's all. All of you.

She inhaled hard, framing her face with her hands.

\- I can take it, anything. Anything. Visions, nightmares, not feeling things, everything - her voice almost breaking - Just don't leave me out, Dani ... please. I need to be where you are.

Jamie sighed, leaning her forehead against hers, swallowing hard to shed tears. Dani pressed her sides, her breathing labored.

\- It's terrifying, Jamie… - she whispered, in a sad warning tone.

\- But it's us... - she now looked into her eyes - it's us.

They hugged each other, staying like that for long minutes on the kitchen floor.

———

May was gone, and the summer days were coming fast; they took long sunbathes on the veranda together. 

Deciding to put Owen's advice in practice, Jamie stopped waiting for Dani to get better, 'cause there wasn't a better version of Dani. It was just her with a new expression, a new way of smiling, her Dani. Who rarely felt like going out anymore. Who barely entered the kitchen; there were too many objects that reflected. Who now enjoyed long bath tubes together and listening for hours Jamie reading anything, to make her think of something else.

She would always hold her Dani at night when she would dream about Bly and held her in the morning when she came back scared.

\- I'm here, babe...

And they hugged, both aware of the abyss facing Dani but also of the deep and undeniable love they shared. Which kept them both there, in the arms of each other. As long as it would.

———

Dani watched the dust particles floating in the sunlight that came through the kitchen. They danced free, weightless, almost shameless on that summer morning. Slowly, her eyes landed on the spoon on the table, where Viola was staring at her. Dani stared back without moving.

\- I'm thinking of closing the store today.

She heard Jamie, as if in a dream. 

\- We could watch movies, read something ... - her voice continued - What do you think?

She felt the touch on her arm and turned from the empty face to Jamie's warm eyes.

\- Mmm? - she said.

\- Me, you, at home, watching movies, massages - Jamie took a sip of his tea - What do you think?

It was the second time that week that Jamie had not opened the store. Or maybe it happened the week before, she wasn't sure. Dani no longer went to work every day, but she had a slight feeling that she should care. She should say, "no, the customers are counting on you". But she didn't feel like it. Open store, closed store, there was no difference anymore.

\- If you want - Dani smiled, drinking her tea.

\- We could also plan our second honeymoon; we're gonna be official soon - Jamie smiled at her.

Oh, yeah, they were going to marry, how could she forget. But it wasn't excitement that she felt; she was always a little distressed when Jamie made plans. One day at a time, she said many times. But now, it felt different. How do you measure days if they all mix together in a constant state of numbness?

\- We could go to a small chalet near home, have a bonfire, see the stars... 

But the images that Jamie's voice painted were so beautiful. The two together, always. Dani loved to admire them. But not so much lately; the more she admired the images, the more she felt Viola's eyes looking in the same direction as hers. Looking at Jamie.

\- Maybe you should open the store - she said, anxiously - the customers may be counting on you.

She looked away from Jamie, hoping that Viola would do the same. Hoping she wouldn't realize that Jamie was the only thing still keeping Dani there. But, what started with a safe distance from Jamie to protect her, was now becoming more and more Viola's space. 

\- It's ok, babe, they can always call and leave their order - Jamie said - It's ok if we don't think about it now… we can talk about it later, ok?

Later, she thought. A hard concept to imagine, but she would try; she would always try for Jamie, even when it made no sense anymore. 

###  **———**

Later, since Dani wasn't jumping in with a lot of ideas for their honeymoon, they settled with the chalet. Jamie then gave her a small task about it while she was away in the shop; there were holiday catalogs in their small library/office where Dani could call some of them and check the disponibility. 

The morning after, she tried to find the catalog where Jamie said it would be, but it wasn't there. She went through drawers, groping on the shelves until her finger touched a small pink package. She pulled it, making a card drop on her feet. 

_To my lovely wife._

_I've always been ready to fight for things and make a lot of effort, but you showed me how easy and sweet life can be. Just know, baby, that the love I've for you is the most beautiful and strong thing I have ever grown, and it will stand forever. Happy 35 birthday, Dani._

_Yours, Mrs. Jamie Talylor Clayton._

It caught her off guard. She sat on the small couch, feeling her heart starting to pump fast, as she pulled out the delicate lingerie from the package. 

She did not even realize she was crying. Something invaded her chest like it hasn't in the last few weeks. She knew their relationship wasn't as it was before; she was aware of that, but it was like the fog cleared for a few minutes, and she felt sorry for them cause she could remember what she was losing. She had forgotten how good it was to be touched by Jamie. How good it was to hear her moan, how fulfilled she could feel with her fingers inside her. 

Dani closed her eyes shut when she remembered their first time, making more tears roll. The sobs climbed in her throat as she remembered Jamie's warm hands, leading her body through waves and waves of pleasure. And when Dani touched her too… oh, how could she forget?

She looked away, catching Viola's eyes in the window reflection. You won already, she thought, but I still can remember. She took a deep breath, making up her mind. What she was gonna do that night could be the last drop to make Viola fight back at her harder than never.

**———**

\- Babe - Jamie said, putting her coat in a hanger, entering the living room - Did you remember Olivia and Sara? They're getting married too, we were invited to their dinner next week. Pretty nice, unh?

Jamie had the habit of entering the room, sharing the most exciting thing that happened on her day. Usually, Dani answered from any room, but not this time.

\- Dani? - Jamie said, walking to their bedroom - Da… ni.

She was breathless. Dani was standing next to the bed, clasping her fingers. Her hair, tossed aside, falling on her shoulders; and all her cream skin exposed, with delicate silk flowers around her breasts and waist. She was wearing the purple lingerie.

There was a moment where Jamie, still dazed, couldn't stop drinking her body.

\- I found this - Dani said lightly - It was my size.

\- Yeah, i-i bought it for you - Jamie said, finally coming back - a few weeks ago…

\- On my birthday.

\- Yeah...

\- Thanks.

She watched Jamie breathing deep, a bit embarrassed. 

\- You don't have to use it, you know, I bought it, but it doesn't mean…

\- Jamie - Dani approached her, taking her hands.

She didn't know how to explain what she was trying to do. Was it goodbye? Dani thought. She wasn't sure. The idea of it sure brought her peace, to go away and protect her lover, but above all, she was doing it for Jamie. It was really tiring to push her away and painful to forget her. So she was gonna bring her in again, even if Viola's was so close, looking. 

\- Let's - she brought Jamie's hands to her waist - try… I know, we haven't in a while, because of me. But, I had a feeling today, and... I remembered our first time.

Jamie smiled tenderly but still worried. 

\- It was so good - Dani gazed into her eyes.

With them being so close, Jamie couldn't think, couldn't analyze if something more was happening. Her track of thoughts just went away when Dani kissed her, slipping her fingers further in her hair, licking her lips. Jamie instantly moaned, pressing her waist closer, drifting her hands up and down her back. Their kiss was slow, so well fitted, a painful and pleasurable tension filling up their bodies.

Jamie broke it apart, inches from Dani's mouth. Their irregular breathing filling up the bedroom.

\- You're sure? - she whispered.

Dani looked at her. She was breathless, and she couldn't believe the desire, the burning desire for Jamie, coming back to her. Pulsing through all her body. 

\- I mean - Jamie caught her eyes - can you, can you feel me?

\- Yeah, I-i can - Dani said breathless - and I want it, a lot.

Jamie smiled under Dani's kiss, more thirsted than the other one. 

Now the room was also filled with under breath moans and their lips clasping. The idea to ask Dani if she was sure again passed quickly through Jamie's mind, but instead, her lips went to her neck, biting and sucking gently, making Dani press more into her, moaning.

They wanted it all, hands never resting at one spot. So urgent, it was a bit clumsy. Dani led them to the bed instinctively, never breaking contact. The brief vision Jamie had while hovering her - Dani with slowed red lips, her chest running up and down by her breathing, eyes filled with lust - made Jamie tremble. Dani's hands slipped through her t-shirt to find that Jamie wasn't wearing a bra; she gasped with the sudden contact with her hard nipple and tried, unsuccessfully, to push her t-shirt up to have it all. To help, Jamie stayed on her knees, pulling it off. She didn't expect Dani to sit up, though, and open-mouth kissed her abdomen.

Dani could hear Jamie's underbreath cursing when she quickly undid her zipper and slipped a hand between her legs, feeling her wetness.

So, but, oh, so wet. 

She couldn't control to moan against her belly while her fingers worked on her, spreading her wet through her folders energetically.

\- Fuck, mmmm, Danii, you're so good…

The way Jamie said her name… made her eyes turn. She forgot about teasing at all and just pressed a finger, and then another, inside her. Jamie threw her head back, gasping, moaning louder when Dani held her hip and swung firmly, matching movement with the fingers inside her. 

Dani couldn't remember anything else. Curse, Viola, Bly. Jamie biting her delicate lips so hard, her warmness clashing against her hand, her nails deeper on her shoulder was everything. 

Jamie could easily let Dani take her to her climax; it wasn't gonna take long. But she made her look up, pulling her into a kiss, sucking hard her tongue inside her mouth. She kept like that while her hands strongly cupped her breasts. As expected, Dani's fingers pace started to slow down, uncoordinated. She was too absorbed by Jamie to concentrate on her movements, and, of course, Jamie knew exactly that would take her down. She gently removed Dani's hand between her legs, while she grumped about it, and laid her back on the bed again.

\- Fuck, that was close, babe… - Jamie whispered in her ear - So rude of you, almost made me come so fast. You know nobody's timing, right?

Dani chuckled, still overwhelmed by the sensations. Jamie leaned back, taking her pants off, hovering Dani completed naked now. 

\- Sorry - Dani put her hands on her waist - you are so wet, I just...

This feeling of having Jamie on top of her like that, the feeling of her body weight. Dani's hands were made to fit it no matter where she placed them. How could she forget this amazing feeling? 

\- You're ok? - Jamie asked.

\- Hmm - Dani nod - yeah. I-i don't know if it is going to last thought…

\- It's ok, it's ok - Jamie gave her peck - let's make now last, ok.

Jamie lowered herself on Dani, kissing her. They both could feel how wet they were on each other's thigh. Dani, who hasn't been touched there yet, spread her legs, loving the contact with Jamie, her breathing more and more fragile. But Jamie wasn't interested in giving her just that; she slid her head to Dani's neck, then to her breasts, liking them through the fabric.

\- Do you like it through it or want to take it off? - she said, teasing.

\- Off - Dani said out of breath - Take it off…

Jamie smiled with her desperate tone. She took her bra off and immediately put as much as she could of Dani's breast on her mouth.

\- Ohmygod… mmmm - Dani said in one breath.

Jamie just couldn't get enough, they fitted so well in her tongue, and Dani's noises were so rewarding. She spent quite a while sucking, licking, and biting her nipples until Dani was panting hard, mumbling incomprehensible words with her hands on top of her head, grabbing anything.

Jamie's lips went down, leaving her hands on Dani's breasts. Once between her legs, she licked, with a long moan, her center through the silk fabric making Dani arch, grabbing hard on the sheets. She was soaking wet; the fabric was a lot darker between her legs. Jamie was thrilled; she pushed the silk a bit aside, sliding her fingers through her folders.

\- Aah, Jamie, yees...

Was enough for Jamie to pull off her panties in one quick movement. There was nothing between them now, both completed naked; Jamie could lick her, and there was so much to taste.

She could be so controlled sometimes, so well calculated with her tongue, even slowly. Dani could feel her building up, at every licking, every twist, every time Jamie closed her lips on her clitoris. It was too hot to breathe.

\- Jamie mm… babe - she managed to say it, touching her hair - wait…

\- Hmm? - Jamie looked up to her - What's wrong, love?

\- I want to see you… Come up here.

And she climbed up, catching her breath, with Dani's wetness all over her mouth. 

\- What's wrong? Did I hurt you?

\- No, no, I just want to see you...

They gazed at each other. Dani, noticing Jamie's face wet, licked her chin, her cheeks, building it up to a frenzied kiss, tasting herself on Jamie's tongue. She grabbed Jamie's hips, pressing it down harder while spreading her legs more. Jamie knew exactly what she wanted by doing that. 

She slightly changed her hips angle, pressing and adjusting, until their clitorises were fully rubbing and touching.

Dani now trembled, crying with pleasure, her nails deep on her hips. They were getting even more soaked against each other if that was possible. The way their hips were so achingly fitted, moving together, left no room for thinking anymore.

\- Fuck, Dani… oh fuck me - Jamie cried.

She lowered herself, even more, feeling Dani's nipples caress hers with the wave movement.

\- I missed you - Dani mumbled - I love you, I love you… 

She whispered at Jamie's ear like she couldn't control it. They were a wet mess, coming and going every time faster, tongues, open mouths, panting, sweating.

\- I love you, mmm - Jamie thrust harder against her, biting her own lip - so much…

And then Dani's hands grabbed her ass with urgency, squeezing and pressing firmly. Jamie whimpered with the sensation of their pussies pressed so hard together, and the smell and sound of sex intensified. She could feel every tremble that Dani made. 

\- Jamie… I'm gonna... Aah. Jamie…

Dani started to say her name, like spasms. It was all too much now. Their hips desperately working in sync, their skins burning, nipples rubbing, Dani's hands, Jamie's pressure, their loud and uncontrollable moans. It all came down hard, piercing through their body.

Dani arched, clutching into Jamie. Maybe she had screamed or moaned too loud for too long, but her whole body trembled, again and again, and Jamie was the only thing she had to hold on to. Jamie kept her hips pressed together, intensifying their orgasm, thrusting less and less hard, until she collapsed panting on top of Dani, whispering some curses on the curve of her neck.

###  **———**

They stayed there for what looked like an eternity. As their breath slowed down, their senses came back. Dani's hands caressed Jamie's rebel hair while she blinked lazily, breathing through her mouth. Her whole body relaxed; she only felt Jamie's warm body on top of her. So quiet inside her mind. Quiet, just like before a storm, she sighed.

\- Dani - Jamie lifted her head languidly - Mmmm...

Her hips moved, and their center was still pressed against. They gasped lightly with the sensation on their sensitive skin. Jamie's lazy eyes looked for hers. 

\- Jesus… think I passed out a bit - she smiled - how are you feeling?

\- I'm feeling really good… - Dani almost whispered.

\- Yeah? - Jamie caressed her face - You were really good indeed… Did something happen today? 

Dani didn't want to talk, maybe Jamie would understand, but she didn't want her to. She wanted her to stay happy as she was now. Her hand went to Jamie's ass, sliding her fingers in her clitoris direction. Jamie gasped, closing her eyes shut.

\- Really? - she said under her breath - You're feeling that good?

\- Yeah… I think I want to feel good the whole night.

And then Dani kissed her, turning her over. Jamie came again with Dani's fingers and tongue on her, and she made her wife come just the same way. 

They chat through the night between make outs and making love. They couldn't get enough of each other; their kiss just ignited all over. When they finally settle down to sleep, wrapped around each other essence and sweat, Jamie couldn't help but wonder that maybe that was it, that this dark period Dani was going through was maybe done, that her love helped her come back. She held her closed, sighing happily.

\- You're incredible, did ya know that? - she said.

\- Well, I'm the one who kind of screamed all night - Dani laughed - you're the amazing one.

\- Let's just agree to disagree - she gave her a peak - good night, love.

\- Good night, ms Taylor Clayton.

Jamie smiled, they both falling asleep in each other's arms. 

And then Dani went to Bly again. 

She kind of expected it; to be honest, those dreams were already daily for weeks. She would come from the lake, walk to the room upstairs, and come back again. But, this time, Viola made sure she met someone in the path. It was Jamie. And she didn't run from her; in fact, Jamie welcomed her as Dani grabbed her by the neck and dragged her to the bottom of the lake. She couldn't scream or stop, and nothing kept her from killing the love of her life.

###  **———**

Jamie tried some nights again. But Dani changed like she never saw before. More distance, more numb. And it hurt again. She couldn't understand what that night was and why it was taking her Dani away so fast. 

Then, the morning after she came back from their official union, her hand reached into nothing besides her. A horrible feeling filled that emptiness. There was a note at the nightstand table. It was the same note where she had written Dani's birthday message. She turned it to find Dani's handwriting.

_Dear Jamie,_

_I'm so glad for everything. You have no idea how free you made me, how your love gave me all. So, I'm not sad, my love, because between losing you or protecting you, I will always protect you._

_This is why I'm doing this. I love you with all my heart, with all I got, but she doesn't. She doesn't love anything, and I can't let it get to you or anyone else._

_I'm not leaving; as you are part of me, I'm part of you. So, please don't be sad, and please, don't blame yourself. There's nothing I would have changed, and I would do it all again, for them, for me, for you, and for us._

_Thanks for the company and thanks for the wonderful life. Love you with all my heart - Yours forever, Dani._

Her eyes were blurred from the tears that streamed down her face. It just couldn't be true. She turned the note, seeing her own message to Dani, realizing that Dani read it in the night they made love. Realizing that she already had decided back then and that the wonderful and unforgettable night, where she held her love so close, every touch, every gaze, every kiss was Dani saying goodbye and telling how much she loved her.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugh, I'm so happy to delivery that, almost crying at some point. No, wait, i did cried, while Evermore played on the background  
> Let me know how i went. Lord knows i have to get better, especially cause i'm not a native speaker of english. lol  
> Actually, I'm gonna go ahead and ask if anyone wants to be my beta reader, anyone? I might suck less because of you.  
> Thanks, boooo, stay safe and sane, muack


End file.
